Super Mario Randomness!
by Luigified531
Summary: What happens when you have fair princesses, evil monsters, and portly plumbers all in one kingdom? Not exactly what you'd expect... Watch the characters as they go on a hilarious trek through their everyday lives, while poking fun at commercials, songs, and especially the games themselves!
1. A Trip Through Miiverse

**Super Mario Randomness!**

_**Chapter 1**_

**A Trip Through Miiverse**

* * *

_**Skit 1: Modern Advertising (Starring Luigi, the baby characters, myself, and Madz)**_

"Dude, Madz, did you hear!?" Billy shouted from the nearby room. Billy is an average, everyday 15 year old boy, who loves to read, write, and play games, as well as spending time with his friends and family. His pale skin contrasts with his dark hair, even more so now than normal, considering the season.

"Well if I didn't, I sure won't be able to now," came a snarky reply from a smiling Madz. Madz is an average teenage girl, who also loves spending time with her friends and family, on top of reading, writing, and gaming. She has dirty blonde hair, and she's slightly shorter than Billy, who is average height for his age. Both her and Billy are currently staying in Princess Peach's Castle, as thanks for saving the fair princess, as well as the world, in an earlier adventure.

"HEY! No freaking fair! I talk naturally loud! Anyway..." he stalled as he moseyed in. "Guess who got a job as narrator for the Pi'illo Pet commercial!?"

"NO WAY! You got the job! I'm so excited!" Madz leapt onto her feet and bounded up to him to give him a high-five.

"Ummmmmm... I didn't even apply, Madz. But Luigi got it, and he invited us to go with him! We're leaving in... Now. C'mon!"

"Of course." An exasperated Madz sighed as she was dragged downstairs by Billy.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_**Skit 2: Clarity (Starring Wario and a Double Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe)**_

It was an average day in the Mushroom Kingdom. The sky was a bright blue, the clouds were smiling upon you, and Bowser was planning his next invasion of the Mushroom Kingdom. The only problem with that was the fact that he still had Princess Peach locked away in the dungeon. During his intense planning session he happened to forget this fact and neglected to feed our fair princess. It sucks to be her, though, because this skit centers on fatboy- I mean Wario.

"Oh mah gawd, it's been like 12 minutes since I last ate! I'M GOING TO DIE FROM THE HUNGER PAINS!" Wario then shoved his finger up his nose, until he reached the gold mine. He ate this nugget of pure joy until he realized it would never fill him up, after which he promptly looked for something more satisfying to eat.

Luckily for Wario, there were no other people in the office. Also luckily for Wario, there was a Double Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe lying in the corner. It would seem as if someone forgot their lunch, considering the fact that it was still fresh.

"I know I'm supposed to be on a 'diet'," Wario mused to himself. "I just want something to eat..." The pleasantly plump plumber then took a knife out of his front pocket and cut into the warm burger's toasty buns. After one bite of burger, another Double Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe appeared. This may not make any sense to the average reader, but this is the Mushroom Kingdom, where fire-breathing dragon koopa turtle things kidnap princesses and Italian-American plumbers use the power of mushrooms, flowers, stars, and other miscellaneous objects to rescue her.

45 minutes later, our fat friend had 488 Double Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxes in his stomach, and another 948 burgers left in the office. He was actually starting to cry as he looked at the massive pile of burgers.

He stared at the original burger, a tear in his eye, and started to sing a familiar song.

"You are the piece of meat, I wish I didn't eaaaaat. Cutting relentlessly. Still fat and I don't know whyyyyy. If our love is hunger pains why do I eat constantly? If our love is crappy why do you fill me?"

Thus ends the story of Wario.

* * *

_**Skit 3: "Super" Princess Peach (Starring Peach and Bowser)**_

It was cold, dark, and stormy outside on February 14, 2014, Valentine's Day in the Mushroom Kingdom. But Peach's mood wasn't affected by the weather, not even a little. It could've been a warm and pleasant day in the middle of May for all she cared. No, Bowser didn't kidnap her on Valentine's Day, although now she kind of wishes he did. For some peculiar reason, nobody, nobody at all, showed up for her party...

…

…

…

Not a single person had arrived yet, and the party was supposed to have started 3 hours ago. Not Mario, not Luigi, not a single Toad, not even her best friend Princess Daisy had bothered to show up. Nobody even had the class to leave her a note expressing regret at the fact they couldn't make it, or even acknowledging the fact there was a party to begin with.

Normally, she'd be sad, maybe she'd even cry a little. But no, not this time. Peach was peeved that these so-called friends hadn't showed, and yet many would likely have the audacity to talk to her like nothing had happened. She was going to find out who was where, and call them out on their insolence.

Normally, she would be able to piece together the fact that something just wasn't right with this picture. But, as it's said, she was blinded by rage. Embarrassingly, the first person her mind thought would be helpful in this predicament was King Bowser of the Koopa Kingdom, her frequent kidnapper.

Princess Peach changed out of her royal dress into her work dress and proceeded to take the pipe to Bowser's Castle, letting nothing stand in her way. As she barged in, she was greeted by a hideous, hulking, smelly beast... I mean she was greeted by Bowser.

"MUAHAHAHAHARDEEHARDEEHARDEEHARAHAHAHAH. I see you have come to rescue your friend, and your lover as well! TOO BAD! They are in my clutches, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Except, you know, you can bake me a cake. It won't free your friends, but I get cake, so everyone wins!"

"Wait. YOU. You kidnapped all my friends! YOU'RE the reason nobody showed up to my party!" Peach accused, seething in anger.

"Uh, duh. Hellooooo... I am evil~. I've been kidnapping you for like 30 years, so one would've thought you'd have figured this out by now, ya' stupid ditz... Wait. Why'd you come here if you didn't know I did it?"

Peach hid a blush before continuing, completely ignoring Bowser's comments. "I can't believe you! You made me angry, and you won't like me when I'm angry."

It was a menacing threat, although Bowser wouldn't admit it. He also wasn't about to back down now. "Awwwww, is da widdle pwincess mad? Does she want a bottle?" He then blew a stream of fire at her, one that was on a collision course with her hair.

"PEACH!" Mario, Luigi, Daisy, and the captured citizens yelled in shock, anger, and worry.

"It's okay Bowser... I like it hot and fiery." Peach leapt into the flames, and came back with her hair alight.

"What in the...?"

"I SET FIRE TO MY HAIR! WATCH IT BURN AS I PUNCH A BEAR!" Peach shouted, oddly in tune, as she charged.

Everyone stood, mouths agape in shock, awe, and horror. Even Bowser did, before he snarkily pointed out that there was no bear. It was naught for long, as she punched him square in the jaw, making him fly across the room. She then grabbed his tail and flung him out the window, to the tune of applause by hundreds.

"I hope I never find... Someone like you. I wish nothing but the worst for you... Don't forget me."

She then unlocked the gates and freed everyone. They all followed her to the castle and had an amazing party; one that Bowser didn't dare crash.

* * *

_Author's Notes: Thanks everyone who keeps me motivated to write! Thanks to everyone that has reviewed, followed, or favorited me or my stories. I appreciate it! Anyway, **was it good, bad, inbetween? Tell me so I can improve, and don't be afraid to review! PM me if you want to be friends on Miiverse or something. Also, feel free to leave some ideas in a review! **_

_**Madz is Fezzes64, check out her stories! She's really cool! :D**_


	2. Pizza!

_**Super Mario Randomness! **_

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Pizza!**_

_**Skit 1: Modern Advertising, Part 2! (Starring Billy, Madz, Luigi, the Pi'illos, and the baby characters)**_

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Billy questioned from the backseat.

Luigi had a short, witty reply in the form of "Well, that's not annoying at all!"

"Hey! That was mean, Luigi!" Madz countered. "Albeit, you have asked literally 247 times, soooo... I really don't think that asking again will cause us to get there fas-"

"AHA! WE'RE HERE! It's about time!" Billy shouted, jumping out of the still-rolling vehicle. He would've hurt himself, had he not landed on Prince Dreambert, the world-renowned Pi'illo Prince.

"Oh, of course!" Bedsmith flew over to the two of them. "You won't let me NAP ON YOU, but you will let some random 15 year old do that?"

"But-" Dreambert started.

"NO BUTS. NOT UNTIL YOU LET ME NAP ON YOU!"

"He's not even asleep, Bedsmith," Luigi said, him and Madz having finally gotten there.

"OH. EM. GEE. YOU CAN TALK! IN ENGLISH! I myself speak in perfect Pi'illo and English," Bedsmith said, staring off to reminisce about something. Even though that might not make sense in the given context, he's Bedsmith, so HE DON'T PLAY BY YOUR RULES.

He snapped out of it about a minute later. "Luigi... Luigi... Luigi, are you even paying attention?"

"Dude," Billy said. "He's asleep."

"Dreambert let him nap. ON HIM!?" He pushed Luigi off. "ONLY I CAN NAP ON YOU!"

"Uhhh, guys," Madz started. "Isn't it almost time for the commercial to start?"

_To be continued..._

* * *

_**Skit 2: Pizza! (Starring Peach, Yoshi, Mario, Daisy, Luigi, and... you'll see...)**_

"Based on my interpretations of everybody's preference of food to utterly devour, I suggest we go to the local pizza place. All in favour?" Peach said as she stood at the head of the small table.

"HI! I'M DAISY!" Daisy yelled in response.

"...Yes, we know, dear. Sit down now, please." Luigi said.

"Ohhh, I love pizza! And pasta, and fruit- especially fruit, did I mention fruit? Fruit is amazing. Like, if fruit was a woman, I would marry her, if only so I eat her whenever I got hungry and no one was around."

"...No Yoshi, we've had fruit, and only fruit, for the past 8 meals." Mario pointed out.

"But... but... I like fruit?" Yoshi whined.

"No." Mario gave Yoshi a deadpan look before taking a sip of his water.

"I'm more popular than you guys anyway, so I choose!" Yoshi blurted out.

"No, I'm the most popular!" Luigi argued.

"Who could not love me!?" Yoshi asked loudly.

"Me." Mario and Luigi both said at the same time.

"But I'm green and adorable, so I'm the favorite."

"Dude, you just described me all the way, except you left out the sexy 'stache." Luigi snarkily replied.

"MY NAME IS DAISY!"

"...I thought it was 'Hi, I'm Daisy.'" Luigi stated.

"...Oops, HI, I'M DAISY!"

"-And in conclusion, I conclude that the local pizzeria is the best option for our meal." Peach stated.

"Were you talking the entire time?" Mario asked.

"Why, I never! How dare you all ignore me, the leader of your kingdom, the leader of this world, _the leader of your very existence."_

Rosalina crashed through the roof of the castle, square onto the table everyone was sitting by. _**"No, you imbecile. I AM THE TRUE QUEEN. FEEL MY WRATH!" **_She pointed her wand at Princess Peach, who quickly dove out of the way. A spark crackled from the tip, and a ray of blue shot out of it, hitting a nearby servant Toad. Because Peach dove out of the way. Duh. I already told you that.

Anyway, the Toad turned into a Ukiki, who then dove out of the window, and ran into the forest. Everybody stared at the window, then turned to Rosalina.

"Welp, that's my evil deed of the day. Ttyl, and all that youngin' speak. 'K, thanks, bye." And in a flash of blue, she was gone for good.

"...I still believe pizza is the best option in our predicament."

"FINE, IF YOU WILL SHUT THE (car horn beeps in the distance) UP." Yoshi yelled, breathing heavily.

"Thanks greatly! Much appreciated!" Peach said excitedly before walking to her car.

"HI, I'M DAISY!" Daisy yelled as she ran after Peach.

"I'm actually fine with pizza..." the Mario Bros. yelled as Yoshi grumbled in the background about how it 'better have pineapples,' or something stupid like that. Because for real, who eats pineapples on pizza? Or vegetables? PIZZA HAS MEAT ON IT, AND MAYBE MUSHROOMS, PEOPLE. Even Peach knows that, and you see how snotty she is?

"For some strange reason, I have the incredibly odd urge to remind you, my closest friends, that I am not snotty." Peach said out of the blue, as they stepped out of the car and into the restaurant. The next five minutes passed by in an awkward silence, since Peach really is kind of snobby... and snotty.

"HI, I'M DAISY." said Daisy, pointing to her stomach.

"We know, honey." Luigi and Peach both said before awkwardly glancing at one another.

Daisy started whining pathetically while pointing to her stomach. "Hi, I'm Daisy. Hi, my name's Daisy. Daisy is mah name."

Suddenly, Professor E. Gadd popped up from behind a potted plant because this author is lazy and couldn't think of a good reason for a creepy old scientist to be at a pizzeria all by himself. "This is a rare species of creature! You've found it! I've been looking for 367 years to no avail, but you've found it! HALLELUJAH!"

Everybody awkwardly stared at him for a few seconds before he clarified.

"It's the rare species of Daisy, a species originally from the world of Pokemon!" E. Gadd guffawed. "Look at how exotic it is, how it's native tongue-"

"HI, I'M DAISY!"

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY, DAISY! WE ALL KNOW!" Luigi exploded, before sheepishly sliding back into his chair, embarrassed at the outburst.

"...Hi, I'm Daisy?" Daisy cautiously responded a few seconds later, looking at Luigi with big, round, sad eyes.

"YOU SCARED IT, YOU FREAKING IDJIT! I used to like you Luigi, but you scared the poor, innocent Daisy!"

"But... She's my girlfriend?"

"Ewwww, that's it! Go away Luigi, just... Go." Gadd stated.

"But..."

"GO." Luigi left quickly, and Elvin followed a few minutes later, carrying a struggling Daisy to his van.

"At last, we finally get the pizza that you couldn't resist, Peach." Mario and Yoshi sarcastically said, grabbing a fork, knife, and napkin. But alas, they could not eat, as Peach had already eaten the two large meat-lover's pizzas.

* * *

_**Skit 2.98: Modern Warfare (Starring Peach and co.) **_

A Toad rushes into the room, yelling something incoherent.

"Lyke, slow doen, yu r tlkng 2 qick fr me." Princess Peach elegantly responded.

"GRASSLAND HAS BEEN INVADED! YOU HAVE TO STOP THE CONFLICT BEFORE IT SPIRALS OUT OF CONTROL."

"Dude, lyk, totes nobdy curs. Get a lyf, ya n00b."

* * *

_Author's Notes! :D_

_I personally think this chapter is an improvement over the last, but tell me if you think otherwise! What could I do better, and what do you never want to see again? Make sure you leave your reviews or otherwise, but really, reviews are appreciated, so I can improve and such... Ummm... I said my favorite was going to be the second one, but I think I lied... Since I might like the third just as much... But, oh well, the third isn't strong enough to carry a story by itself, so, I still might prefer the second. _

_**Special thanks to **__**SuperMastour, **__**Stuffwell359, Fezzes64, rene10**__**, Nantees, SonicBoom403, and Eduardo Amador Amazonas, and DaughterofAthena55 for following and/or favoriting and/or reviewing me or one of my stories since my last update! It's much appreciated, and I will try to do anything requested by one of you guys! :D **_


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